i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience
unless you experience my penis
I just choked on my food.
that’s not the only thing you’ll choke on
Don’t they usually put choking hazard warnings on really small things?
they keep asking but the anwser quite simple actually
"I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep."
isnt that from spongebob..
would you rather attend the wedding of your otp or get a copy of their sex tape?
Tumblr: The place where all the important, thought provoking questions are asked.
is the sex tape in HD?
Can I be the priest?
there are two kinds of people
taking the students’ dignity as a final screw you
I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST
THAT NO ONE EVER WAS
ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS ALL AROUND THE WORLD
ARE SO IN LOVE WITH JARED PADALECKI
[AGGRESSIVELY SINGS IN JAPANESE]
I wish one of my teacher’s did this.
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE IDEA
MINE IS BEING CREATIVE
[AGGRESSIVELY SINGS FIVE SEPARATE PARTS OF ONE DAY MORE]
CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON!
THEY’RE WILL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE.
LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REST! DON’T CHYA CRY NO MORE!!!!!
I LIKE ALL THE GIRLS AND ALL THE GIRLS LIKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAMAAAAAAA JUST KILLED A MANNNNNNN
PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD PULLED MY TRIGGER NOW HES DEAAAAAAAAAD
I’d just sing a Skrillex song tbh
DOOOOOOOOOO DOOOOOOOOOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOOOOOOOOO DOOOOOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
DOOOOO DOOOO DOOOO DOOOO DOOOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dododododo
DOO DOOO DOOO DODODOOOO
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DODODODO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
When you walk away You don’t hear me say
pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease oh baaaby don’t go
DAMMIT! I was gonna sing simple and clean!
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
pizza spelt its own name wrong
My therapist asked me to create something “motivating” so I made these.
I really love these, and I reblog them every single time. Some of you don’t realize how easy it’s to forget to do some of those stuff or how hard they can be some days.
now i feel like ive actually accomplished something today thank u ily
I have these saved on my phone
xehanort dying in PS4 graphics
idk why but i picture it looking like movie voldemort’s death
i love when old people figure out how to do something on a computer that’s actually really simple but to them it’s like